Testosterone Replacement Therapy is a bigger pain in the ass than it should be

I've been on testosterone replacement therapy for three months (an injection every month) and EVERY time I have to defend my decision to be on it. It always starts with them rejecting my decision and ends with me convincing them, based on a lot of research I've done in the topic, that it absolutely does improve the quality of my life and that I know what risks and problems to look for. This time I even had to tell the doctor a blood test that she should add to my lab sheet and she was like, "oh yeah you bring up a good point, I'll add that to the blood work." I'm not some asshole trying to abuse steroids, my motivation from the very beginning was to have average testosterone levels for my age and sex, not more.

I know that hormones are finicky and messing with them is risky business. I've known of my low testosterone for much longer than I've treated it, because I was afraid of the health risks and the hassle of keeping my hormones at a healthy balance. However, after much consideration I decided it was a risk I'm willing to take and I've been much better off for it and have yet to see any warning signs that I should stop. Yet every time I go in for treatment I feel like I'm on trial. I walk into the doctor's office the same way I would walk into a classroom before the final test, anxious and nervous but studied and prepared to demonstrate my knowledge on the subject.

And this is all just me trying to be a happier, healthier man. This is just me trying to have the hormones of a 28 year old man instead of having the hormones of a post-andropause man over twice my age. I can't imagine what transgendered people go through when they decide they want to change sexes, because all I'm trying to do is be the man that I am and the doctors that I'm seeing need convincing. They just want me to be content with relatively woman-like hormonal levels and all of the body composition problems, depression, fatigue, difficulty gaining muscle, and relationship "not masculine enough" problems that come with it. All because "well, those aren't life threatening problems that necessarily need treatment. Here's some Prozac to make you comfortably numb." 'Cuz fuck quality of life, right?

My Top Ten Books

10 books I like a lot, listed in no particular order (I don't mean to imply that any of these books are better than the others based on their number).

1. Dune -- I think about all the trouble super power nations are having with Islamic militias in the Middle East, the long drought, global warming, etc., and I realize that Dune's allegory is possibly more relevant today than when it came out. Kind of scary, huh? Kind of like...

2. 1984 -- I haven't read it since high school which was like, ten or more years ago... and to be totally honest, I need to re-read it because I'm not sure I finished it. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have it on my list then but fuck it, we've got shit like the NSA happening. This is why science fiction is so important... it predicts this shit.

3. If Chins Could Kill -- a autobiographical book about Bruce Campbell. Funny and inspirational, if you're somebody who knows who Bruce Campbell is, you'll like it. If you don't know who he is, you just don't get it, man.

4. A Brave New World -- I remember I once got into a very big argument with Brittany Knight about whether or not Demolition Man was based on this book. That was a ridiculous argument and I'm sorry I was so adamant that your high school English teacher was full of shit, because yeah... I guess it is based on Brave New World. But seriously, the book is incredibly deeper and very different from the (admittedly still awesome) movie.

5. The Disaster Artist -- it's a book about the making of The Room from the point of view of the guy who played Mark. That description sells it short though, it's a very moving and interesting journey with a mysterious eccentric rich man through the eyes of a scared but fascinated loner trying to make it in Hollywood. It also makes the movie much, much funnier when you know how absolutely ridiculous the process behind it was.

6. Ender's Game -- this introduced me to the concept that Mormons write amazing science fiction. When everyone was angry at Orson Scott Card for being a homophobic dickhead, I was still thinking "at least he's a good writer." If you really study great artists, you'll learn that a lot of them were basically Mel Gibsons.

7. The Old Man and the Sea -- I first read it in Jr. High and thought it was boring. Later, my High School freshman English teacher had our class read it as he explained the symbolism and themes in great detail. Suddenly the boring, shitty book became one of the most badass, manly books I've ever read. That was my awakening to literature.

8. The Catcher in the Rye -- I was reading this in a coffee shop when an old man sat in front of me and caught my attention. "One day I learned J.D. Salinger went to the same school as me, so I dusted off my old yearbooks and found him. 'Oh yeah, I remember that guy,' I said, 'he was a real asshole.'"

9. The Game -- It's a cautionary tale about pick-up artists. The self-described pick-up artists are misogynistic sociopaths as you'd expect, but a lot of men join the community in order to learn the social skills necessary to stop being forever alone virgins. The basic moral of the book is that men who treat women as sex objects ultimately become horribly depressed with their shallow lifestyle, but that learning some pick-up artist techniques can greatly benefit men who lack the social skills necessary to establish a romantic relationship. Here's a funny fact: most "pick-up artist techniques" are basic stuff like fashion, self-esteem, how to meet new people, etc... it's stuff that most people already know and do, but socially awkward people never learned. So that's why I recommend it to men who feel "forever alone" and can't ever find a girlfriend... it's a way to learn how to find romance while simultaneously debunking the misogynistic ideas that sexually frustrated men usually have.

10. Mein Kampf -- A book that shook the world.

10. The Sound and the Fury -- at first you're going to hate it. The first section is told from the point of view of a man with the mental capacity of a 3 year old. He's literally retarded. He can't distinguish memories from the present, so time jumps back and forth without apparent notice; it's stream of consciousness. There are things that he doesn't understand and therefore describes in a confusing, abstract manner. You really feel like you're inside the mind of mentally disabled person, and that's when it "clicks" and you fall in love with the book. It has several sections, each focusing on a different character and utilizing a different narrative style -- quite the experience.